The Brotastic Adventures of America and Canada
by PastaAndWurst
Summary: A series of one shots about the adventures of everyone's favorite North Americans, America and Canada. NOTE: ALSO POSTED ON MY TUMBLR UNDER THE NAME SINCERELYHETALIA, PLEASE DON'T ACCUSE ME OF STEALING, THAT WOULD MAKE ME SAD.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, yeah, I know I really shouldn't be starting anything new right now but gosh dangit I have plot bunnies and they have needs. So yay, another series of random one shots. I'm not abandoning any of my other stories, and What Could Possibly Go Wrong is still my main concern if anyone was interested, but I must go where my muse takes me!**

**Disclaimer: I have never claimed to own Hetalia**

Shouting and chaos had already consumed the world meeting when the North Americans burst in, hyped up on Starbucks and Tim Hortons.

"Dudes, everyone sit down and shut up!" America shouted as Canada plugged his tablet into the projector. "My bro Mattie and I stayed up all night preparing this so listen up!" The two brothers began their presentation, Canada rapidly switching between English and French. As they finished the other nations stared at them in shock. Germany was the first to speak.

"So your plan for world peace is to give everyone a beaver and a free trip to Disneyland?"

"Yep!" The brothers beamed as England and France face palmed.

"I blame you for how they turned out." France sighed as they watched the boys pass out from their coffee high.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I'm back with another chapter of this. This one focuses mostly on America, but it was so much fun to write. Before anyone even has the opportunity to ask, yes I used google translate, because it's one o'clock in the morning and I don't know any one who speaks German and/or Russian. So if anyone wants to give me better translations, feel free to and I'll fix it, but if not, oh well. Anyway, on with the story!**

**I don't own Hetalia**

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America sprinted down the hall tying his tie. He was running majorly late and had gotten dressed while driving (a skill he had mastered a long time ago) he stopped in front of the conference room door, taking a moment to collect himself before stepping in.

"Sorry dudes!" America laughed before taking his usual seat in between England and Canada.

"America, what the hell, you're never late, and what happened to your shirt?" England hissed in his younger brother's ear. America looked down to see that his shirt was wrinkled and he had a huge coffee stain on it. America groaned.

"Damn, I must have spilt coffee while I was getting dressed going down the freeway. I overslept, my alarm didn't go off this morning." Canada raised an eyebrow.

"You got dressed while driving again? America how many times do I have to remind you of the dangers of distracted driving!?" America just rolled his eyes at his other brother.

"I'm fine Canada, honestly don't worry." America turned back to the rest of the meeting where everyone had broken off into chatter in different languages, most staring at the North Americans and their older brothers. America sighed, understanding each and every conversation. Everyone always forgot that sense he didn't have an official language he spoke every single language represented in his country. Canada gave him a look.

"What are they saying?"

"Oh you know, the usual, all Americans are fat, lazy, stupid. Honestly they need to come up with better insults." He rolled his eyes, before he smirked. Canada widened his eyes.

"I know that look. Nothing good ever comes of that look" Canada groaned. America stood up.

"Es tut mir leid für die Verspätung, muss es, weil alle meine Übergewicht hält mich nach unten." (I'm sorry for being late, it must be because all of my excess weight keeping me down.) Germany and Austria gulped as their insults were thrown back at them. America's smirk grew as he turned to Russia. "Или, возможно, это потому, что я такой же плотной, как свинья и не знаю, как читать часы?" (Or perhaps it's because I'm as dense as a pig and don't know how to read a clock?) Russia sent him a death glare, but America couldn't care less as he turned to each nation and rolled their insults off in a sarcastic manner that only someone raised by England could achieve. Everyone looked at the American incredulously as he took his seat and Canada and England both chuckled. America knew it would be more of the same at the next meeting, but damn it felt good to shove it all back at them for once.

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**So yeah, I have a head cannon that since America does not have an official language on the national level (though some states do list English as the official language), he speaks every language represented in the country. So yeah. I'll be back in a bit for the next chapter, later brohas.**


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